Christian Dating Advice for Men
How should you approach Christian dating? If there was ever a balancing act in our lives, it's the one in which we have to balance our desires, and our beliefs.
Speaking to you as someone who's struggled, at times, with his faith and his urges as a man, I believe I have a unique perspective on how the two fit together.
It is natural to want to stay true to what we believe in. And for most men when Christian dating, it is important that love occur within the boundaries of church.
Sex during marriage only is one of those boundaries.
Whether we follow it or not, there are validities of freewill choices at work here and it is not for us to judge this belief.
Ancient philosophy informs us that partaking of sex with one another mingles a piece of our soul with the other and then continues with us forever.
In Christian dating respects, this is true. So the doctrine to keep your virginity for your wife is a wise one.
Ultimately, this presents a distinctive confrontation for men who wish to remain true to their faith.
There are a few perspectives to consider in Christian dating when you wish to continue attracting women and then foster your relationship while awaiting the consummation of marriage.
Sex is important after all, since marriage to someone sexually incompatible is a difficult union for anyone.
This advice is helpful for those men who face the emergence of blending faith and romance.
- Refine your beliefs
Faith guides us throughout our lifetime, is essential that you are clear in where you place your faith and beliefs.
God gave us free will and the ability to think and reason.
It is up to us to look at all our options and decide what path to take. You may believe in some of what the Church teaches, but not all. Or, you may embrace all of the Church's teachings.
You must refine and clarify your beliefs and then stick to them, no matter your choices.
- Trust in the plan God has for you.
Keep your faith in knowing God has a plan to unite you and the woman who is meant for you.
Since you have free will, you have to take action while striving to take advantage of all opportunities presented to you. Remember, God can only do so much.
Learn to be proactive in finding the right woman for you.
Going out and meeting women, taking them on dates, getting to know them - this is not just stuff that happens. We have to MAKE it happen.
And it is our actions which keep us on the path God has set out for us, because our actions are based on what we believe.
- Understand that virginity is not mysterious or essential.
You must understand that sex is a natural act, such as walking, talking and breathing; it is something that we do. Sometimes the way some individuals consider virginity is confusing and unbalanced.
Gods intention is for man to be fruitful and multiply, this means sex. It is one of the greatest gifts from God; his intention is for us to have sex, this is why sex is pleasurable.
So to look at your virginity as something sacred is not helpful.
Virginity is meant to be lost - the real challenge is finding the right person to lose it to!
In the end, there is a spiritual aspect to sex. It's the aspect that you find someone who makes you feel whole, alive, and loved. This is something separate from the act of sex, because this touches you on a deeper level.
It is this type of intimacy you should strive to achieve before marriage, because this will help you to know if the physical aspect will be in tune as well.
During Christian dating, do not be afraid to be intimate with women! Kissing, hugging, touching - this is all fine. But sharing your hopes and dreams, staring deep into her eyes and feeling her inner-most desires... that is where true intimacy stems from.
- Look at women as real people, and do not put them on a pedestal.
When you place too much importance on blending sex and faith, you may find yourself inflating the importance of a woman.
You may think of a woman as some delicate flower goddess that is treated special and treasured.
But women are no different from me. God cut us both from the same cloth. Even in Christian dating, to treat a woman as though she is special, just because you are sexually attracted to her, is not the same as respecting her.
It is easy to love an ideal. But it is hard to love the reality. The woman who gets angry when she's hungry, the woman who nags you about taking out the garbage, the woman who wakes up in the morning with bad breath - that is the reality.
Rather than idealizing a woman, you have to learn to love the reality of her. Sex is only one of her aspects, since as humans we share many of the same qualities.
When we see girls as people, just like us, we are able to get a clearer picture of whether or not we are meant to be with them.
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