How to Make Her Want YOU!

Guys, you won't get her "goodies" until she feels safe in a good relationship with you. Here is how women's ancient drive for good relationships to insure survival still shows up in their dating and mating behavior today:

• Women unconsciously analyze and evaluate each relationship from moment to moment. Women have an extraordinary ability to evaluate the body language, tone of voice, and words used by men to determine how sincere, honest, and close their relationship really is. Most women will look for, and catch, the tiniest things a man does that reveals if he is inconsiderate, selfish, and does not value her and the relationship with her. Women quietly remember each personal violation and keep score! (Guys, beware! She starts keeping score right after your first "Hello".)

  Men don't need, care about, or watch for the same tight relationship connections with everyone. Having close relationships usually meant men were obligated to take care of others. So close relationships were a liability. Even dating today can expose a man to obligations he does not want. (Most guys just want to eat, have sex, and go to sleep! Forget the relationship stuff!)

• Women learn at an early age what gets a guy's attention, and it all deals with sex or his status. (And don't forget, high status is still about getting sex.) Women spend considerable time and money trying to appear young, healthy, and sexy in order to appeal to men. If a woman can attract a lot of men, then she has a better chance of "capturing" an excellent mate and provider for her and the children.

Men, here are some practical ways to function now that you know the background on why women seek a secure relationship. Follow these tips to convince your woman that you are as interested in a good relationship (and her survival) as she is. Once she feels her survival is secure in a close and protective relationship, her natural DNA passion will start heating up!

• Show your interest and dedication to her well-being and high value to you. Women want to feel they are important and valuable so the men will protect and care for them. So periodically ask her how she is doing and if she needs anything -- and sound like you mean it! If you satisfy her survival needs, that will change her perception of you and her body chemistry will rev up so that you are more attractive to her.
• Prove to her that you really value her and what she thinks. That implies interest in her and a desire for a close relationship. When you are doing something and she talks to you, do this:
  1. Stop what you are doing and look in her eyes. Try to not go glassy-eyed!
  2. Really listen to what she has to say. Really listen! She will know if you are listening by the size of your eye pupils! (Small pupils mean you aren't listening!)
  3. Encourage her to say more. Let her talk and never jump-in on top of her words. Let her finish, then validate what she said. (Example: "Yes! I agree with what you said. I like that idea.") Allow her plenty of time to reply to your comments, and to go first if she wants to say something else. Notice if her voice drops at the end of her statement. If her voice does not drop, she has more to say! Keep listening. Only after she is finished should you go back to what you were doing.

• When she has a problem or concern that she shares with you, don't try to change her or "fix her". That implies there is something wrong with her, but not with you. The DNA programming here is this: women need to express emotions and how they feel about their personal problems. They want to be heard. That is how they build personal trusted relationships. However, when women express negative feelings or a problem, this often comes across to men as something that needs to be fixed. So naturally, men want to jump in and fix everything. That is a high status and "Alpha Male" need in men. Guys, don't try to fix her! Mostly just listen and accept her the way she is. She just wants to be heard and to express her feelings. The most you need to do is listen, and gently offer your validation to what she said. Offer your support and help if she wants it. To women, sharing problems and feelings is "relationship building." To the guy it may sound like complaining or a cry for rescue - but it is not that!
• Guys, don't try to be anything you aren't! Save the status bragging for your buddies. With a woman be real and let her see that you are an honest and caring guy -- just like every woman wants but has a hard time finding. Share some of your recent embarrassments or problems that you can both laugh at. This shows you are human, and it sounds to her like "relationship building."
• Remember: You can't disguise your feelings easily from a woman because your body language and facial micro-movements will tell her what you are really feeling. Woman can naturally read these cues without even trying. If you try to hide your real feelings, she will see you as a big fake and not trust anything you say or do. She will not feel safe and secure with you. Her true passion will never be released with you!

*Incidentally, the area in the brain for sex and feet are right next to each other. In some people the feet area is larger than the sex area. This may explain foot fetishes and why some women would rather have their feet rubbed than to have sex.

Fact : Women need a close relationship in order to mate.

A good relationship with a caring, nurturing guy who can help make a good life for her and the offspring will release her passion. At her next level above her survival need, is a need to satisfy her reproductive destiny. Guys, that means lots of sex - but only after her survival needs are satisfied first!

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