Women Want Some of This in Men

Dating and aggressive men. Most women unconsciously seek an aggressive male mate. In women's DNA is a preference for a mate who will protect and provide for her and her children. Most women are naturally attracted to powerful and aggressive men who have proven to be successful.

Power is an immediate turn-on for women because it implies extra safety and protection. That is an unconscious prerequisite in women before having sex. Guys, "aggressive" does NOT mean grab, grunt, hump, and go to sleep! That kind of behavior deserves a poison mushroom slipped into your next dinner. "Aggressive" means actively going clearly and openly after what you want by all acceptable means.

Demonstrating how well you can control resources in daily life is being "aggressive" in a modern socialized way. Being generous with your resources will show her how much you value and desire her.

Historically, both male animals and men have had to be aggressive in seeking a mate. One of the primary male hormones that helps in mating is testosterone. It makes males both "horny" and aggressive. Men don't have to butt heads like some male animals do.

However, men still need to show their courage and aggression in ACCEPTABLE ways. The man who can do his acceptable aggressive tactics best, has a better opportunity at getting accepted by the woman and getting what he wants.

Nearly all animal and human females are reluctant to having sex without the male first showing some form of aggression and dominance in a courtship ritual. The male's courtship tactics demonstrate to the female the male's interest, good intentions, and caring for her well-being. His aggressive and nurturing behavior is what she is looking for in a mate before having sex with him.

Approaching a woman and talking to her is the first aggressive step most males demonstrate in western countries. The continuing courtship involves male acts of obtaining and providing the female things she may enjoy.

These acts demonstrate his power and dominance in his world. The male's unstated message may be something like this, "Hey woman, you surely would be a fool to not want to give yourself to such a powerful and generous guy as me!"

Many male animals and birds do courting acts for the female. The courting ritual is passed on from generation to generation by example and differs in each culture and species. The most liberal of western cultures have streamlined the ritual for getting sex down to very brief and impersonal encounters that may take only an hour or two.

Some animals -- and even some human males in some cultures -- spend days doing their courtship rituals. Gorillas have it down to approximately five hours of aggressive gestures and branch waving. You may see some clueless guys using a similar gorilla routine!

In the courtship ritual the male hopes to exhibit more strength and intelligence than his rivals, thereby persuading the female to accept him (and his genes) to make offspring. Courtship is all about the male persuading the female to accept his sperm and make his baby.

This is going on unconsciously in modern humans even when they think all they are doing is having some fun dating and don't want to have any kids. However, the ancient mating drive is always present. Without this mating drive our species would soon become extinct.

Once acceptable civilized behavior became fashionable in very recent times, evolutionarily speaking, a man's aggressive acts for getting a woman's attention have been greatly restricted. Today, an acceptable aggressive act that gets a woman's attention is simply walking up to her with an "opening line."

This is acceptable aggressive behavior for men in public places like a bar, club, or dance hall. This action is usually not acceptable for women to do. That is just one of the many "unwritten rules" on flirting and dating in most western countries.

It takes a lot of aggressive courage for a guy to approach a new woman in a public place! Three emotionally powerful things are going on during this simple aggressive act guys are suppose to do bravely when approaching a strange woman. Guys, here is some of what is going on that makes your knees weak:

• First, she can reject you in front of everyone there. In this approach situation, you give a woman stranger the power to publicly judge you as looking "good and desirable" or as the worst sleezeball, scumbag, and bag-of-crap in the Universe! And everyone there will see her decision of what you are. That is a scary and powerless feeling! Many guys won't even play that game and just get drunk instead.
• The second thing that makes this approaching-a-woman action scary, is that all the other guys are watching. If she rejects you, then all the guys will see you as a "failed hunter" and chuckle. That is instinctual hostility in their DNA and comes along with a lot of aggression of their own, and a desire to see you fail!

  This comes in men's DNA from millions of years of competing for breeding rights with the females. This attitude is stupid in today's world, but these instincts are ingrained deeply in the male old brain and come along with the testosterone. Some guys even turn it into a game of "dare" for their buddies so they can see them fail. Women despise these clueless guys.

• The third thing going on, is that if she rejects you in front of the women there, you will be seen as a looser and unacceptable to all the other women, too. At your deepest level is the fear that you will never find a mate to produce your offspring and pass-on your DNA. At the conscious level this is ridiculous, but at the DNA level it is a terrifyingly real fear.

  That fear comes from your old brain that is still wired from millions of years ago! The old brain (i.e. the limbic system) is what controls our bodily systems such as heart rate, perspiration and breathing.

As you approach the new woman, your limbic system will be running wild because of your ancient ancestors' experiences! Be brave and don't panic!

Go ahead and confidently approach her walking tall, with gut sucked in, head held high, chest out, and with a slight smile. Incidentally, the smile is a natural body language signal saying, "I won't hurt you." So don't forget to smile, even during your panic attack.

However, if you use the approach techniques I will describe later, she is probably going to accept you into her space eagerly. So if you did read her signals correctly, forget about rejection. She is waiting for you! (Of course, don't act, dress, and look like a Neanderthal!)

Fact : Women want a strong and aggressive mate who can protect her and the offspring.

In today's civilized world men are limited in how they may demonstrate how aggressive they are. The culture dictates to a large extent how they may display their Alpha maleness.

Home Back